Abandoned

Do I really trust and believe…

Healer (Hillsongs):
You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

One day while I was taking a bucket bath, I noticed the earrings that I wear everyday were on the floor. I felt my earlobe and realized I wasn’t imagining it. I started to panic.
I’ve had these earrings for so many years and my parents had given them to me. I thought I had lost one of the parts as I was picking them off the floor. To my surprise all the pieces were there. I was relieved.

That situation got me thinking about my life at this point. Am I still in that place where I’m having trust issues with God? It’s a constant struggle. Why do I panic every time He takes something from me? I shouldn’t be so shaken when life doesn’t go the way I expected. I feel I should be a more solid Christian but I’m constantly reminded of how weak I am. It’s frustrating.

Preschool
This past month I’ve been trying to organize our preschool’s first graduation. Even though I’m really excited, I feel a lot of pressure. I’m getting lots of help from the mothers’ of my graduates, the chairman’s wife, and the principal & vice principal from the primary school. I’ve definitely been encouraged by their support. However, one thing that makes me nervous are the graduates themselves. They have a lot of energy and keeping their attention is difficult. I’m hoping they behave during the ceremony. Don’t get me wrong, they are cute children who have wonderful, unique personalities. I’m hoping everyone will be blinded by their cuteness and not see the mistakes that happen. Let’s be real. This will be my first time organizing a graduation, there are going to be mistakes. I just hope I don’t look like a fool.

After the graduation, the teacher (Ms. Erminda) and I will be redoing our classroom layout and our style of teaching. She’s currently at a preschool training that will help us in this process.

These are some of the items we need to create the ultimate classroom:
Preschool Wish-list
1.Cubby holes for children’s storage
2.Fire extinguisher
3.Plastic plugs to cover outlets
4.Learning Centers
a.Language Learning Area
i. Manipulative Activities
ii. Flannel Board & Felt Pieces
iii. Matching & Opposite Concept Games
iv. Shapes, Numbers, and Color games
v. Alphabet Letters
vi. Picture Cards
vii. Writing Materials
viii. Feelie Bag
ix. Puppets
b. Dramatic Play/Housekeeping Learning Area
i. Child Size Furniture
1. Thatch House
2. Tables
3. chairs
ii. Dolls
iii. Household Items
iv. Hats, Scarves, Jewelry, etc.
v. Boxes
vi. Dress-up Clothes
vii. Doll Furniture
viii. Telephone
ix. Mirror
x. Blankets/Pillows
xi. Puppet Stage
c. Quiet Library Learning Area
i. Picture Books
ii. Counting Books
iii. Tape Player & Story Tapes
iv. Story Books
v. Alphabet Books
d. Music Learning Area
i. Sand shakers
ii. Song tapes
iii. Tape Player
iv. Rhythm Instruments
e. Creative Art Learning Area
i. Paint brushes
ii. Markers
iii. Blunt Scissors
iv. Pattern making objects
v. Paint
vi. Easels
vii. Paste
viii. Sponges
ix. Play Dough
x. Aprons
xi. Colored Paper
xii. Paper bags
xiii. Containers/old magazines/newsprint (Parental donation)
f. Block Learning Area
i. Blocks
ii. Blankets
iii. Funnels
iv. Wood
v. Balls
vi. Toys
vii. Crates/Boxes
viii. Plastic Tubing
ix. Cars/Trucks
g. Sand and Water Learning Areas
i. Tray/Bins/Buckets
ii. Plastic Toys
iii. Shovel/Spades/Spoons
iv. Soap & Bubble Blowers
v. Blocks
vi. Bottles/Cups
vii. Funnels
viii. Containers/Pailsof all sizes
ix. Cars/Trucks
x. Sponges
xi. Plastic Animals
xii. Sink & Float Items
h. Science/Discovery Learning Area
i. Small Machines/Phones
ii. Sifters, Funnels, Beakers
iii. Flashlights
iv. Rocks
v. Nature Items
vi. Measuring Items
vii. Magnets
viii. Shells
ix. Plants
x. Magnifying Glasses
i. Pre-Math Learning Area
i. Lacing
ii. Matching Games
iii. Color Counters
iv. Pegs & Peg Board
v. Concept Activities- Big/Small, Over/Under, Top/Bottom
vi. Bingo Games
vii. Stacking Toys
viii. Number Counters
ix. Pattern Blocks
5. Ramp and Walkways
6. Teachers Stipend
7. Classroom Wall Design: National Symbols and Cartoon Characters on the wall & Bulletin Board to hang materials
8. Playground (outside activities)
a. Swings
b. Seesaws


Library
We had an activate librarian who ended up discontinuing her service in February. This was very disappointing for me because it was another person in the village who has decided to call it quits. The children in the village love the library and I couldn’t close it. So, I kept it open and took on the responsibility. I feel that many people in the village can quit and know that I will take on the responsibility. It sucks but I left my home---not to be a failure but to make a difference. Sometimes I will put my foot down and let certain projects go. For instance, when I didn’t have a preschool teacher November and December---I closed the school down until someone took responsibility. That’s when I met our current teacher---who’s awesome. However, there are times when I will take on projects on my own knowing I can handle it. The library has been that project. What’s been a blessing is the children would help me organize the books and clean-up the building. It was real nice but I still had stressful moments. I didn’t know how I was going to continue the library.

Then today (Thursday, 2 June) one of the mother’s in my preschool volunteered to take charge and the ex-librarian said she would like to come back. Now there are two adults going to take charge of the library. It’s amazing how God changes situations. I hope these women can work together and keep this library open long after I’m gone. I’m tired of all the quitting that’s gone on this past year.

Water
Dry season usually begins around February and ends in June. In my village, the water slowly stops flowing by the end of March. For the month of April and May we have had no water in the village. People in the village usually drive to the river (which is about 2 miles away) to bath, do laundry, and wash dishes. I have about three large tanks that connect to the Development Center (where I work). It’s been convenient because they are filled with rain water. So, I would use this water to bath and wash dishes. Then on the weekend I would go to the river with my host family and do laundry and bath while I’m there (talk about privacy being violated---I definitely have NOT gotten accustomed to trying to change while 50 other people are washing and bathing). It’s become a routine.

Recently, my tanks got empty. They were empty for two weeks and I had to start pumping at the well. That was so hard. People in my village do it everyday and I only had to do it once. It sucked. It’s been getting hotter and that’s not fun when you’re pumping water. I usually look like a wreck in the village but this made it worse. Waterfall of sweat was dripping of my face as my hair got all frizzy from the humidity. Believe me it wasn’t pretty and the pump is in the center of the village. Talk about being humbled.

Anyways, I was really valuing every bit of water I had. As the village continued to get drier, I kept hearing it was raining like crazy at home (Michigan). It made me annoyed at some points because in Michigan I’ve never saved rain water to use for bathing, washing dishes, etc. Armenia needs rain real bad!! Fortunately, rainy season has started and soon we will have water in our pipes.

Just remember when you’re at home running your faucets for whatever reason---please say a pray for these villages that struggle to get water and have to work hard to get water that lasts only a few hours before they have to go out and pump again.




FYI------Here’s what happened the last few months

One Year Anniversary (Can’t believe it!) March 25:

For our one year anniversary arriving to Belize, we went to Tobacco Key. It’s a small island, which you can get off of Dangriga (coastal town). I had a nice relaxing time. About ten of us showed up and that was perfect. We went snorkeling for free and the water was clear blue. It was breathtaking. We saw starfish, sting rays, and sea turtles. I’m glad I went it was a great way to celebrate.

Easter Holiday

The weekend before Easter, I went to Guatemala with another volunteer named Allison. We spent most of our time in Flores, which had cobblestone roads that were narrow and tall colorful buildings. We met up with other volunteers from our group on a week long Spanish intensive training. We went out dancing---which by the way love reggae-ton music. The following day we went to see the Maya temple called Tikal, which was amazing. On this trip and every trip outside of Belize, we made sure we ate pizza. They had a really nice Pizza Hut; it was fancy---we had waitresses. Then we swam in a pool at a really nice hotel. We were actually staying in a hostel but with the purchase of food we could swim at any hotel. It was sweet. Then we were on our way back to Belize and back to reality…

Easter weekend, it was filled with cooking bbq and swimming at the river. It was really fun. I went with my host family on Friday and another family on Sunday after church. Originally I wanted to be in Guatemala for all the Easter celebration but I’m happy that I stayed. I got good quality time with 2 wonderful families.

Alright, I’ll send out another update in a couple of months. Please let me know what’s going on with all of you.

To Know You (Casting Crowns)

A couple of weeks ago (Tues,Jan4-Sat, Jan8) I was really stressed. I had a wonderful time being at home for Christmas and New Years was nice as well. I was able to help with my host sister's Quince (15th birthday) and really relax. But the week before preschool started I began to get overwhelmed. I had to prepare for preschool and still had no teacher, chess club was starting and wondering if anyone would show up, and I was starting to teach Adult ESL with no experience.

What got me through that week was this song...

To Know You by Casting Crowns

To know you is never worry for my life
To know you is to never to give in or compromise
To know you is to want to tell the world about you
Cause I can’t live without you

To know you is to hear your voice when you are calling
To know you is to catch my brother when he is falling
To know you is to feel the pain of the broken hearted
Cause they can’t live without you

More than my next breath
More than life or death
All I’m reaching for, I live my life to know you more
I leave it all behind, you’re all that satisfies
To know you is to want to know you more

To know you is to ache for more than ordinary
To know you is to look beyond the temporary
To know you is believing that you will be enough
Cause there is no life without you

All this life could offer me, could not compare to you
Compare to you
And I count it all as lost, compared to knowing you
Knowing you


I'm so glad God continues to remind me that He is there and watching over me. I always question Him---Does He really know me? Why does He put me in this place? Why does life get this way? Am I ever going to make it through?

When life gets dark and hopeless---which I've experienced so many times. I continue to look at Him and light eventually comes...whether it's what I hoped for or something totally different.

Anyways that first week went really well...

Preschool---a woman who was previously helping recommended her niece who just move into the village. Her niece is a licensed teacher and has been doing well with the kids. She has awesome ideas with decorating the classroom, comes early and stays late to lesson plan, is patience with the kids, and overall knows how to handle the class. I pray she stays. We now have 18 children and about 15 come everyday. Last year only 8 children came to class. I pray this continues. Also, my preschool application is complete and I'm going to be making an appointment this week with the Ministry of Ed. I hope things go smoothly. BTW--my host sister Cesi is coming to class and she is too cute. Even though she cant down---she loves playing with the kids and has gotten closer to me. She brightens my day.

Chess---the teacher (one of my preschool student's dad) is really great at teaching the game and about 11 children come. I'm really happy with how that is working out. Plus, I'm relearning how to play chess---I'm learning to appreciate the game more.

ESL---it's hard preparing for the class because you want to be an excellent teacher and I really want the students to learn. It's alot of pressure I place on myself. However the adults that attend the class are very motivated and eager to learn---it's really precious and makes this so rewarding. I just pray that I improve in teaching and really reach out to these adults.

---BLESSINGS----

I know it's been awhile since I've written but there have been lots of blessings these past few months. Besides what's written above...

1) Housing-My house finally is finished and you can see pictures on facebook. I love it! I feel comfortable there and am so proud of it. God really showed me His faithfulness. Men in the village helped built it and the chairman's wife helped decorate it. It's cute.

2)Mom& Dad visit- Really happy they got to meet everyone here. The trip helped eased their fears and reminded them of India. We saw the Maya temple (Xunantinch), saw both of my host families, met two Malayalee families, and had a great time together. Plus, they brought me yummy treats and other goodies (thanks Joslin and Joshmy). Overall, it was comforting for me to have them see this part of my life. Now when we talk they know what I'm talking about and who I'm talking about.

3)Thanksgiving- Went to Southern Belize called Punta Gorda and had Thanksgiving dinner with the volunteers there. It was really special and even though it wasnt home---it was wonderful. I felt closeness with all of them and genuine care. PLUS, this was the day Joslin called saying friends from home were buying my ticket home. It was an awesome day and totally icing on the cake.

4)Christmas- LOVED IT!! I'm so happy I got to see most of my friends and family.It was great, even though it went fast and was intense. I ate great food (cutlet, puffs, pizza--Jets:thanks Joslin, burgers, sweets---redvelvet cake:thanks to josh)---mom's awesome cooking, chachi/Lori awesome sugar cookies,etc. The trip overall reminded me of how blessed I am. I have people who love me and I love them:)

Alright that's it for now...